Wednesday, 7 October 2015

13 things I have learnt in 13 years of being a parent.

Being a Mum isn't easy, my eldest is nearly 13 - so I have been doing this job, THE job, for the past 13 years (if you don't count the pregnant bit). Here's some of what I have learnt:


  1. You need to re-define yourself after you have kids, you are no longer, so and so, manager of such and such, who likes a drink and a dance at the weekend. You are a Mum who works (if that is your choice, it was my choice). How do you do that? How do you maintain an element of youness. In my case I got a load of tattoos and work a condensed week so I can have Monday's to myself. Other people may find other, less extreme ways to re-define their youness. 
  2. You have to come to terms with your body, it changes, significantly, and sometimes in your more 'personal' area's. Which is nice (NOT). And you may change how you feel about your body, especially in this ridiculous media and celebrity led world where your body is supposed to be perfect again five minutes after having a baby. 
  3. Babies, children and near teens are all ridiculously demanding, needy, funny and lovable in turns, if you are lucky (and I think I am) you get the last two things more than the first two things.
  4. I thought nappies, and formula milk was expensive, then I thought kids parties (including, presents, party bag and soft play*shudder*)were expensive, now I think my pre-teen is super expensive and I fear for when she gets into brands...the lesson here, is not a new one. Children cost way, way more than you think they will...I need a pay rise before daughter two hits the teens. Ugh.
    Me and my girls
  5. Whatever coolness you may have had as an adult, in your child's eyes disappears, around the time they are 11 and go to secondary school, at which point, they think you are the least cool person in the world, who has no idea of anything! 'Do you even know what You Tube is Mum????' Maybe if I Vlogged this, I would be cooler..hmmm......
  6. You say stuff your parents said, and swore you would never say to your kids. This is FACT. 
  7. Your whole life changes, here are some of the infamously stupid things I said whilst pregnant;
    1. We will have a date night once a month
    2. I will still go clubbing occasionally
    3. I won't need to move anything in the house to make it safe, it's fine 
    4. How on earth do people not have time to read. Ridiculous
    5. How tired can you possibly be?
    6. How hard can this be, women have been giving birth in fields since, like, forever (sorry I briefly turned American)
  8. You will watch an inordinate amount of kids TV. Most of what they like now, is American, which is why my children call rubbish, trash...gah.
  9. You will occasionally fall for big eyed begging, however much you try not to.
  10. Take loads of photo's because they really do grow up so quickly.
  11. You will never have loved as much as you love your children, they come before everybody and everything. They are number one
  12. You would do anything, and I mean ANYTHING, not to hear them cry in pain or suffer in any way
  13. You can't help but be proud of every achievement, every success. You burst with joy. Even their first poo.

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