Saturday, 5 September 2015

Addiction, and how I manage it.

I have a slightly addictive personality, that doesn't mean you can't help but love me (that's obviously the case), what I mean is, I can get addicted to things easily.

Take cigarettes, I was a 40 a day girl, I tried patches (numerous times) and hypnotherapy to give up. Nothing worked. Even when I was pregnant with my first girl I smoked, I reduced it significantly but I still smoked. I am not proud of that.
It was almost impossible to find a photo of me, without a cigarette.

What finally stopped me?

I couldn't stay pregnant after my first baby, I had an ectopic pregnancy then two miscarriages, and no, there is no explanation for miscarriages, but I really wanted to give myself the best chance, so I stopped. No patches, no hypnotherapy, nothing. I found something I wanted more than a cigarette. A second child.

I gave up on September 7th 2005, On September 13th 2006, I gave birth to my 2nd daughter. It is almost exactly 10 years since I gave up smoking. I have not even had a drag on a cigarette since then for fear I might start again. Giving up was absolutely horrendous, I don't want to have to do that again. I also told myself I could start again when I was 60, because the thought of NEVER AGAIN, was too much.

Another example of this is tattoo's, I had my first tattoo at 29 (I wanted them from about 18, but it took me 11 years to get the bottle to do it). I don't know how many tattoo's I have now. I have a sleeve that's nearly finished, the top of my back and a leg tattoo, plus 3 tattoo's at the base of my spine, I am far from done. They are addictive, but at least they aren't bad for my health.

Something that is bad for my health is alcohol. I like wine, red wine, it's lovely, it relaxes me, it makes me giggle. I like a glass or two in the evening, but lately it's been a bottle a night. This is not healthy and I should try to be healthy as I have been living with blood cancer for the last 5 years. So I am being a Dryathlete this September for Cancer research UK, and because I am putting it here I have to do it.

Please sponsor me HERE on my just giving page. With out all the research into blood cancer I wouldn't be here, so let's kill two birds with one stone. I stay a bit healthier and you donate to a great cause that all of us have been touched by.

I have blogged a few times about my blood cancer, here are a couple of examples - here and here
if you want to know more.

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