Sunday, 31 July 2011

21 more Grumps and this B**ch ain't one

A while ago I wrote 21 Grumps and this B**ch ain't one

I have decided that this needs to be revisited. I have things that I need to get off my chest and what better platform than my blog.

So here are 21 new things that make me grumpy, confused, upset & angry.


Not my cleaner. 
  1. My cleaner, (OK I know, I am lucky to be able to afford one etc..) she doesn't really clean, I think she introduced my mop to my kitchen floor once, but they didn't get on so she has decided not to bother. I keep her on because she irons. Rubbish.
  2. Disney, I am not sure their characters are setting a good example, for example, Alex (Selena Gomez) in Wizards of Waverley Place, basically her naughtiness is the plot, yeah I know, it's my fault for letting them watch it. 
  3. My boobs, they are comedy size, bra's cost a fortune and running is not an option. (Maybe I should get rid of the cleaner and save up for a boob reduction...?)
  4. TV scheduling is currently crap. There is an 8pm - 9pm void. This is when we have got the kids to bed and I want to relax, there is nothing on.
  5. My laptop now has three error messages that come up before I can do anything, and it's too big and kinda heavy.
  6. The things my children pick up from party bags/McDonald's/the fair/crackers these things are just tat cluttering up the place. My mother-in-law calls these Disheens (I am unsure of the spelling) but they are exactly that. 
  7. Rats, like wasps, a pointless thing. What do they do that is good? I am at a loss.
  8. My living room floor, it looks lovely and all wooden and everything, but we never varnished it so my children constantly have splinters. We are splinter removing experts here.
  9. My children wearing nothing on their feet then crying when they get ANOTHER splinter. It isn't a surprise.
  10. My kitchen floor...too hard to explain the issues there, but it will take vast amounts of money and mess to get it fixed.
  11. My lungs, still slightly clogged so still taking the lift at work, annoying and embarrassing.
  12. Not having enough time to read...hang on, I could do that between 8pm - 9pm. OK delete 3 and 11, that's why it's good to talk...
  13. Water, I have to drink vast amounts of it, when all I really want to do is drink coffee and wine. 
  14. Justin Beiber, partly because he goes out with Selena Gomez, partly because he sings that 'baby, baby, baby' song...and it get's stuck in your head. For days.
  15. Why has no one invented self cleaning cars...houses...people? 
  16. Why are my daughters quite high pitched, particularly in the mornings at the weekend (there may be a slight correlation here between their high pitchedness and my wine drinking at the weekend)
  17. Why are all my family a long way away.
  18. Same as 17 but please insert babysitters where the word family is.
  19. Why aren't sanitary towels etc on the National Health?
  20. People who misinterpret what you say and change it into something that means the opposite of what you originally meant, usually with a negative spin.
  21. The disproportionate amount of time teachers have as holiday compared to everyone else who works. 
And that's it...grump over. I feel much better.                                                                                                  

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