Sunday, 31 July 2011

21 more Grumps and this B**ch ain't one

A while ago I wrote 21 Grumps and this B**ch ain't one

I have decided that this needs to be revisited. I have things that I need to get off my chest and what better platform than my blog.

So here are 21 new things that make me grumpy, confused, upset & angry.


Not my cleaner. 
  1. My cleaner, (OK I know, I am lucky to be able to afford one etc..) she doesn't really clean, I think she introduced my mop to my kitchen floor once, but they didn't get on so she has decided not to bother. I keep her on because she irons. Rubbish.
  2. Disney, I am not sure their characters are setting a good example, for example, Alex (Selena Gomez) in Wizards of Waverley Place, basically her naughtiness is the plot, yeah I know, it's my fault for letting them watch it. 
  3. My boobs, they are comedy size, bra's cost a fortune and running is not an option. (Maybe I should get rid of the cleaner and save up for a boob reduction...?)
  4. TV scheduling is currently crap. There is an 8pm - 9pm void. This is when we have got the kids to bed and I want to relax, there is nothing on.
  5. My laptop now has three error messages that come up before I can do anything, and it's too big and kinda heavy.
  6. The things my children pick up from party bags/McDonald's/the fair/crackers these things are just tat cluttering up the place. My mother-in-law calls these Disheens (I am unsure of the spelling) but they are exactly that. 
  7. Rats, like wasps, a pointless thing. What do they do that is good? I am at a loss.
  8. My living room floor, it looks lovely and all wooden and everything, but we never varnished it so my children constantly have splinters. We are splinter removing experts here.
  9. My children wearing nothing on their feet then crying when they get ANOTHER splinter. It isn't a surprise.
  10. My kitchen floor...too hard to explain the issues there, but it will take vast amounts of money and mess to get it fixed.
  11. My lungs, still slightly clogged so still taking the lift at work, annoying and embarrassing.
  12. Not having enough time to read...hang on, I could do that between 8pm - 9pm. OK delete 3 and 11, that's why it's good to talk...
  13. Water, I have to drink vast amounts of it, when all I really want to do is drink coffee and wine. 
  14. Justin Beiber, partly because he goes out with Selena Gomez, partly because he sings that 'baby, baby, baby' song...and it get's stuck in your head. For days.
  15. Why has no one invented self cleaning cars...houses...people? 
  16. Why are my daughters quite high pitched, particularly in the mornings at the weekend (there may be a slight correlation here between their high pitchedness and my wine drinking at the weekend)
  17. Why are all my family a long way away.
  18. Same as 17 but please insert babysitters where the word family is.
  19. Why aren't sanitary towels etc on the National Health?
  20. People who misinterpret what you say and change it into something that means the opposite of what you originally meant, usually with a negative spin.
  21. The disproportionate amount of time teachers have as holiday compared to everyone else who works. 
And that's it...grump over. I feel much better.                                                                                                  

Wednesday, 6 July 2011

The Gallery - Grandparents

I remember 3 out of 4 of my grandparents. My Mum's Dad died before I was born.

This is my Dad's Mother, with all her children, she is front left. I would say she was about 78 in this photo.


My Dad is directly behind her. My Dad, and my eldest Aunt (next to my Gran, front row) are the only surviving people from this photo. I have been to a lot of funerals over the last few years.

My Gran made me sugar sandwiches and peeled oranges for me. She died when I was 18 and she was 86. Her funeral was the first funeral I went to.

It is only since her death I have found out more about her. She was a powerful matriarch and ruled over her children with a rod of iron. Even when they were grown.

Like every big family there were secrets and sad stories.

 My Gran lived through two World Wars, one of her brothers came back from the war, but was never the same again. 

She saw the Berlin Wall go up, but never saw it come down. She never saw the end to the cold war.

She saw a man on the moon.

She lived to see her youngest son die of a heart attack (second right, standing).

We visited often and I remember it smelt of boiled cabbage (in a nice way), I remember the gold sideboard with the mirror and all the family photos (my brother has that now). I remember the cold of the outside toilet and the hard toilet paper, the warmth of the kitchen and the back living room. The front room was for best, dark, and always a few degrees colder than the back room.

There was a big black (or was it blue) car, probably from the fifties. I never saw her or my Grandad drive that car, could it have been a Humber?



She had an attic room with a rocking horse, one of the proper old traditional ones, and other toys, but I hated going upstairs, it was so quiet and the house was all heavy curtains, dark colours and windy stairs.

I remember her joy when I would turn up unexpectedly on my way back home from Sixth Form, just to say hello.

She was a very moral woman.

I am not sure she would have approved of me, as I got older, and lived with boyfriends. None of her daughters, would have been allowed to do that. When her eldest son did, she didn't speak to him for years.

She definitely wouldn't have approved of some of the boyfriends, the tattoos, or the piercings, but she would have loved her Great Grandchildren. 

My Gran died slowly, she had a stoke, which stopped her speaking and moving, but it didn't effect her brain, she didn't have dementia and knew everything that was happening to her. She was in hospital a long time before she died. I saw her before I went to college in the hospital bed, looking small and frail, I told her about where I was going and what I was doing. She died during my first term.

Sadly, the memory I have of her, is her lying in that hospital bed.

But the memory of her I give to my daughters is the one with sugar sandwiches and peeled oranges. 

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Sunday, 3 July 2011

Silent Sunday


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