You know how everyone tells you before you have kids, that there will be a time when you are mind-crushingly embarrassed, by something they say or do. And you think no, surely not. Then they are little babies and you just think, this cute bundle of joy, NEVER.
Well my seven year old delivered this devastating blow on Sunday.
Oh My God.
I mean, seriously, Oh MY GOD!!!! (or whatever deity or non- deity you are into - NVQ, in Equality and Diversity kicking in)
My daughter likes numbers, which is great, she takes after her Dad. I prefer words myself and never really thought her number thing would be an issue. Until last Sunday.
She knows the ages of every person in our family except Nana. Nana, never turned fifty, I know, because I was not allowed to celebrate this birthday.
No one officially knows the age of Nana, it is a thing of family myth and legend. I have no doubt, that my eldest will find out. It's just a waiting game. Nana doesn't know it yet, but Ninja Number Eldest is after her.
I don't know what I weigh, I rely heavily (literally) on the fit of my clothes. I haven't weighed myself on scales since some time around by wedding day (10 stone 7 pounds by the way) 9 years ago. I don't think it is healthy to frequently be weighing yourself and I have two daughters. The last thing I want them to see is there Mum constantly weighing herself. There was a brief moment on the Wii Fit when the evil machine told me what I weighed with never a by your leave. The Wii Fit and I are no longer speaking. It made my mini Mii have a wobble tummy which my Mii slapped - playfully...hmmmmmm. But I digress.
Suffice to say, two kids and giving up smoking has taken it's toll and I no longer weigh ten stone 7 pounds, I weigh a bit more than that.
My Ninja Number Eldest on Sunday (after lunch, she couldn't have done it before!) brought the scales down from the bathroom (we were at my Mum and Dads) and in age order (I was 4th out of 10- brilliant) made us have a weigh in.
She then proceeded to write our name and ages on little index cards which Grannie (Nana, lives in Ireland and escaped this torture) helpfully provided - Grannie has always been a 'skinny jim' harrumph.
After my husband, I came out 2nd heaviest. Heavier than my Dad and my Brother. Oh how they laughed.
!"£$%^&*( Bloody "£$%^&*()_skinny f******* B******** and other expletives.
Oh how I grimaced inside. I couldn't not do it as it would have sent a 'Bad' message - but OMG I am now seriously depressed.
What would you have done?
Some of my Skinny Family including the number ninja
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