Sunday, 11 October 2009

Thanks Tara




Thanks to Tara at Stickyfingers I have been reading lots of blogs this week..My goodness aren't we a clever and articulate lot!

Having babies hasn't fried our brains after all (thank you which every deity or spiritual thing gummy bob you prefer), but released a load of creativity out there in the blogosphere. The blogs make me cry, laugh and realise that whether you work or not we are all Mum's and experience similar feelings and thoughts.

I never really liked all those NCT things or organised baby groups, I used to say that I didn't need new friends just because I had had a baby. I did go to my post natal sessions and I can honestly say that all I got from it was how to do baby massage and resuscitate a choking child (OK - both these things have been handy, but the point is I didn't make any friends).

I was wrong, I was incredibly, cripplingly lonely when I had my first child. I didn't live close to my old friends and the friends I had made through work just wanted to carry on clubbing (the dancing kind, not the one with seals - that would just be weird).



My problem is, as I told Tara, I don't like people...I have to be social, gregarious and friendly everyday at work. When I am not at work I just want to be with my kids and husband, drink wine, eat Twiglets and be grumpy...Is that wrong?



God (Or other deity etc, you get the picture) bless Tara and my other new Mummy friends for persevering with me, when I had my second child, I found out where to breast feed comfortably whilst shopping, I learnt how to lunch** I found out it is quite nice to go for long walks in parks with prams. It's nice to visit friends and chat and not just about babies but other stuff too.



The thing is, I hated the social events, first at nursery where all the parents are pulled in for a 'disco'. Then you start to get the invites to children’s parties, at the local Wacky Warehouse*, again enforced sitting with other parents just because your children share the same room at nursery or class at school, does not make you instantly friends with the parents. The conversational one up Mum or Dadship..I have a TrippTrapp this.. a Mama's and Papa's that..UGH! Then there is the 'knowledge'..not like the London Taxi Drivers, but your little person has given you the full gen on all the other little people - little boy 'Tom' says bad words, Little girl 'Brittany' pushes, Little boy 'Harry' bites etc..So before you even meet these people you have your preformed (mis)conceptions of who they are and what they are like.



So I love this blogging this is a great way for me to be socially acceptable without having to be accepted socially - and I have also realised that I can make new proper friends, out there in the real world.


Thanks Tara. You are a good friend to me; I only hope I do the same for you.

Just for the record - this was not the aim of this blog, to go all sappy and embarrass my friend, but like most of my blogs I start off with a thought that ends up some where else.


*Note to self: must remember to blog about Wacky Warehouse's at some point...like the wire that wraps up children’s toys..soft play areas with adults and alcohol, how wrong is that

**To lunch - a verb, a doing word, a social thing you do with friends - I aspire to lunch all the time, I also aspire to be independently wealthy, so I could lunch everyday, unfortunately my aspirations remain just that. Damn it.

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