Friday, 22 September 2017

I'm dancing...Really dancing

Tonight for the first time in over 32 years I am dancing on stage. OMG.

Still can't quite believe it. Excited, nervous, thrilled to be dancing on the same stage as my daughter.

All of the above.

When I was young, from about 6 to 18, I danced, I did tap, modern and ballet.

I did my exams, we did shows.
I am third from the back, we are rehearsing our tap chattanooga choo choo..classic.

I wanted to be an actress when I was a child, so I needed to dance and sing.

I loved the big MGM musicals with Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Cyd Charisse, Gene Kelly ... all of them. Loved them. I wanted to be Cyd Charrisse, she had famously amazing legs. I mean, just look at them.

I'm five foot two, this was never going happen.

Anyway, I digress, I danced, lots and lots of dancing, I used to cycle to my dance classes and then dance then cycle home, I was super fit. I was a kid.

Now I am 49, I am anything but super fit, I get breathless, I have aches and pains in my joints, but when the chance to do a Mum's dance in my daughters dance schools show came up, I jumped at the chance.

A chance to polish off my old tap shoes (turned out they didn't fit any more and I had to get new ones.. proof that having babies make your feet bigger), yes please.

So for the last couple of months, myself and some other brave souls have tapped our hearts out getting ready to dance in this show. Our daughters our dancing loads of dances, mine is dancing in 5. How they do it I don't know, I am practically at deaths door after we have completed our one dance.

But, I have loved it, I will continue tapping after this, it has given me a new lease of life .

Hello, my name's Jane and I love tap dancing.

My new tap shoes, not looking very new, but ready for tonight.
So if you want to see me, and the other Mum's or any of the incredibly talented kids (Some of these dances will take your breath away) or some super cute tots dancing with all their hearts. Come and see us. We are at The Core Theatre Solihull, tonight and then tomorrow for a matinee and evening performance. Tickets are available here

Wish us luck.  

Wednesday, 20 September 2017

The Art of Waiting

I spend a lot of my time in hospitals. Waiting.
I don't mind waiting. I come prepared. Coffee. Phone. Sometimes a book. 

Today I am in Solihull hospitals radiology department waiting for an x-ray as i've had a persistent dry cough for over six weeks.

The doctor has to send me for a chest x-ray as this is the standard procedure, even though she doubts there is anything wrong with my lungs at all, and it is probably to do with my indigestion medication, she thinks I need to take more of it. Yay more pills.

So here I am waiting. I have no internet connection so I am writing this on my notes on my phone. I can upload it later.

All of this is fine. I am being productive. I have half an ear open for my name.

I have made a list of what I need to do later, when i'm finished here. Because what ever happens and no matter how long I wait I will be finished here at some point. There is always an end of the wait in sight.

It may be far away on the horizon. But it's there. 

I watch others get agitated, fidgety. What's the point. It is always warm in waiting rooms it will only make you hotter and uncomfortable.

Usually there is a TV on. Today Jeremy Kyle is on. I purposely sit with my back to it so I can faze it out. You can't reach a perfect waiting Zen state with Jeremy Kyle in your eyeline

I have to be careful not to fall a sleep. It's warm, I have found a comfortable sitting position and as I relax my eyes close.

Relaxing into waiting started when I had a super busy job and not much of a work life balance. I realised when I was waiting. I had to stop. Just stop.

It was Me time. Not perfect but something. Since then my life has changed A Lot. But I still find myself in this state. 

I have written all this. I am still waiting, my eyelids are heavy. This is way more than I would do normally whilst I wait.

Normally, I think of nothing. The murmur of all the others voices who are waiting too, are like waves or whale music. Strangely relaxing. 

I would recommend my form of waiting. You can't speed up the hospital, by bothering them. You are just taking up their valuable time. So, as they say, 'just lean into it'. It is what it is. 

Now if only I could reach this state of mind when I'm driving I would be a much better person. But no, this seems peculiar to waiting. 

Try it. It's nice.

Tuesday, 19 September 2017

Interview with my 11 and 14 year old

I have been re-reading some of my old blogs and remembering why I do this. On the 1st February 2010, I did an interview with my 3 and 7 year old, Follow the link to see that post.

I thought I would try the same thing again, because their answers were brilliant and showed me a moment in time.

Here they are being all 11 and 14 (Well Lola was 10 in this photo, but you know what I mean)
Some of the questions have slightly changed as things move on.
As before Lola's answers are in orange and Heather's are in green

How old are you?


How old is Mummy?

49, 50 in October 

How old is Nana?

I'm just going to say 21 - Nana is famously sensitive about her age, I think I may have reared a diplomat.

Who is in charge of the country?

The Queen
The Prime Minister, Theresa May

Who is the Queen?

Elizabeth II
Elizabeth II

Who is Donald Trump?

President of the United States of America

President of the United States of America

What is your favourite food?

Rice, gravy & peas - Excellent all the food groups *head slap*
Cake, Mummy's raspberry and cream Victoria Sponge - Lovely, but also not the most nutritious of options. Oh hum.

What's your favourite song?

Little do you know (she doesn't know who by, but I've googled it and it's Alex and Sierra, you can listen to it here) and Look what you made me do by Taylor Swift - So it appears my 11 year old has quite adult musical tastes, who knew...not me, until now.
Hell Nos and Headphones by Hailee Steinfeld - You can listen to that one here again, definitely not standard pop.

Where do carrot's come from?

The ground
The ground

Where do banana's come from?

Trees - well that's a relief they know the basics about fruit and veg
How does a car work?

With petrol giving it power to run
An engine

What do you like doing at school?

Maths - I mean who actually really likes maths? Lola, apparently.

What does Mummy do whilst you are at school?

Works, watches the news and sleeps - That is frighteningly accurate....
Works and cleans - Hmmm lovely that she thinks we have a clean house, I don't spend much time cleaning it is one of my least favourite things ever.

Where do babies come from?

Mummy's tummy
Sperm and an egg

Where does poo come from?

Your bum
Your bum - I had a better answer from this one when she was 7, darnation, she is unlearning stuff.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I just want to dance or do something relating to dance
Something creative in fashion

If you have children, what names will they have?

Daisy and Dan - Still prefer 3 year old Lola's answers to this.
Luke and Frankie (Francesca)

What makes you happy?

Yellow - random?
Family and friends - Yay, I made it into the what makes you happy category this time, she could have been more specific... but you know, you have to take it where you can find it.

So what have I learnt about my kids this time around?
Their answers are more mature and don't make me what to giggle as much. Lola is a bit of an anomoly, she loves dancing and maths, not two things I naturally put together, this isn't a surprise but it is strange to see it in black and white. Heather is bright, intelligent and is beginning to understand how the world all fits together and influences her. At one point during this, Heather asked me to wait as she wanted to think of a 'clever answer' but I was in a rush and wouldn't let her, so you only saw her immediate reactions.

I think it would be interesting to do this again when they are in their 20's, I think, by then I could take the carrot, banana and poo questions out, and made add some more probing future life questions... Or maybe I do another interview with new questions now... Hmmm lots to ponder, I am sure you will find out what I decide.

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